The New GOP Frontrunner for 2016: Vladimir Putin
“People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans and equivocates and bloviates,” said fraction-term governor and noted Putin-watcher Sarah Palin on Fox News’ Hannity this week.
Russian President Vladimir Putin’s beefcake boudoir photography featuring his naked torso alongside large mammals is a siren song for Republicans. They’ve been in the market for a man—manly enough to take charge of their shattered caucus. A dude—dudish enough to stand up to the “feminized atmosphere” created by the media.
They just can’t seem to find a leader strong enough. Where’s the warmonger of their dreams?
Maybe the perfect candidate for the Grand Old Party has been there all along…three terms to be exact.
George W. Bush stared into his eyes and got a sense of his soul. Putin is basically the Kremlin’s Harriet Myers (except conservatives admire Putin).
Is there a flight deck we can get this guy on already?!
Putin combines all the decisiveness of the no-apology President Bush with all the Winter Olympics accolades of no-apology candidate Mitt Romney, but with more shirtless horse riding!
Plus unlike former frontrunner Chris Christie, Putin’s not afraid to stand up to Obama. Putin would never call for cuts to the military! Putin would never allow Congress to do nothing for two sessions! Putin wouldn’t appoint all those czars like Obama! Ted Cruz went to namby pamby Harvard—Putin served in the rough-and-tumble KGB. That’s right—military service!
He’s a hero.
“Putin sees himself as a macho man who’s going to do pretty much what he wants,” Bill O’Reilly said on his self-titled show. “The president sees himself as a renaissance man who wants to accommodate.”
A renaissance man who wants to accommodate?! In a democracy?! Outrageous! Impeach him.
Putin just does what he wants without having to consult with anyone. He doesn’t have to wait around for handwringing and (gasp) compromise inherent in our girly pink tulle-clad constitutional government. No, Putin just feels in his gut what’s right and he does it. Deliberating international consequences are for ladies who wear unsexy middle-aged lady jeans and those with the middle name Hussein. Broad consensus is for broads.
Putin is the GOP’s Fabio. The sexy man model on the cover of their favorite romance novel, “Dictator of Love: He Sees What He Wants and Takes It.”
And come on: let’s talk about name recognition! This guy is a star! John Kasich who? The entire WORLD knows Vladimir Putin! There’s no contest.
“Putin decides what he wants to do and he does it in half a day, right?” Giuliani swooned on Neil Cavuto. “He decided he had to go to their parliament. He went to their parliament. He got permission in 15 minutes…but he makes a decision and he executes it quickly. Then everybody reacts. That’s what you call a leader. President Obama, he’s got to think about it. He’s got to go over it again. He’s got to talk to more people about it.”
Talking to people? How weak! Thankfully the right-wing-dominated talk radio is fully put off by leaders talking.
Oh and the gays! The GOP-Putin bromance started last year when Putin criminalized gay propaganda. Pat Buchanan gushed in August, “Putin is trying to re-establish the Orthodox Church as the moral compass of the nation it had been for 1,000 years before Russia fell captive to the atheistic and pagan ideology of Marxism. ‘The adoption of Christianity,’ declared Putin, ‘became a turning point in the fate of our fatherland, made it an inseparable part of the Christian civilization and helped turn it into one of the largest world powers.’” He continued, “Anyone ever heard anything like that from the Post, the Times or Barack Hussein Obama?”
Has anyone ever heard of the GOP slobbering over a foreign president before?
© Copyright 2014 TinaDupuy.com, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Tina Dupuy is a nationally syndicated op-ed columnist, investigative journalist, award-winning writer, stand-up comic, on-air commentator and wedge issue fan. Tina can be reached at email@example.com.
There are Better Ways to Cut Military Spending
Is it really a surprise that the governors of all 50 states are pushing back against President Obama’s push to cut their National Guard troops?
The difference between the Democratic President’s approach and that of Republicans like Senator Tom Coburn is the President wants to cut spending on military men and women’s salaries and benefits, while Coburn seeks to cut spending on jets and ships.
The President also wants to cut cost of living increases for retirees who served our country.
Yes, the Pentagon is facing $37 billion in cuts. So, what would be the best way to match those cuts? Reduce our fighting force and lay off well-trained troops during a time when terrorists continue to recruit and deploy their murderous forces around the world amid serious international threats from Iran, Russia and North Korea or reduce billions of dollars in questionable weapons programs?
Senator Coburn has one of the most consistently diligent teams digging through defense spending reports from the Government Accountability Office.
Every year, Sen. Coburn issues a report that too few people seem to read, especially those in Congress.
Before you and I explore some of the billions of dollars of real savings that can be achieved, let’s also recognize a couple of political realities. First, you’d be hard pressed to find a single congressional district in this country without a defense contractor who’ll yell and scream to the local TV station and newspaper about losing jobs if their member of congress suggests the product or service they provide is no longer needed, even if they make external access cards for dial-up modems (a modern day equivalent to the buggy whip).
Second, most Republicans are not as enthusiastic about cutting any military weapons spending as many Democrats are about laying off troops. They should be, but they’re not.
A quick and easy way to achieve $37 billion in savings is to simply end the F-35 Strike Fighter boondoggle. It’s years behind schedule, billions over budget and will likely cost one trillion dollars to fly and maintain each plane over its lifespan.
It’s also politically impossible to end the program outright, so Coburn’s team has proposed allowing the Navy and Marine Corps to purchase less expensive F/A-18 Super Hornet jets instead of making the F-35 the standard platform for every branch of the military, thereby saving $18 billion.
Do we really need 11 aircraft carriers? Many analysts say, “no.” Save $7 billion by reducing aircraft carriers from 11 to 10 and Navy Air Wings from 10 to 9.
Of course, beaching an aircraft carrier also means displacing a crew of about 5,000.
One of the more controversial ideas is closing Department of Defense elementary schools to save about 10 billion dollars.
26,000 students are taught by 2,300 teachers who are employees of the Department of Defense. Sadly, a report by the Center for Public Integrity stated, “Conditions are so bad (on military-run schools) that some educators at base schools envy the civilian schools off base, which admittedly have their own challenges.”
The problem with locking the doors on military elementary schools is putting that population pressure on some local school districts that don’t have enough classroom space. Building new schools would surely cost those taxpayers more than is being spent on the base schools.
There are billions more that can be saved by eliminating programs that simply duplicate other effective programs, but what congress critter wants to face angry people who lost a job?
Perhaps it is easier for Democrats to simply fire people, but there are obviously better ways to cut defense spending.
© Copyright 2014 Rick Jensen, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Rick Jensen is Delaware’s Award-Winning Conservative Talk Show Host on 1150AM WDEL and 93.7FM HD3, Streaming live on WDEL.com from 1pm — 4pm EST. Contact Rick at firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow him on Twitter @Jensen1150WDEL.
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