What to Consider When Pre-Planning Your Funeral Wishes

While it's not pleasant to think about "life after you're gone," it's unavoidable that everyone will one day pass away.

After the passing of a loved one, many families will hold a funeral to honor their memory and say their final goodbyes. Do you have strong wishes about how you're laid to rest once you've passed? If so, you may want to start a Funeral Planning Declaration, which is a legal document that clearly outlines details like whether you'd rather be cremated or buried, what your service should look like, and who should be invited. This has two benefits: it improves the chances of your family following your wishes for your own funeral, and it also makes the process less stressful for them because they have a guide regarding exactly what you wanted, and can feel more assured that they're doing things the way you would have wanted them.

But what should you consider when pre-planning your funeral wishes? Your Funeral Planning Declaration can benefit from more than your stance on cremation vs. burial and basic logistics; here's what else you may want to include.

Type of Service or Ceremony

The service sets the tone for how people say goodbye. You might prefer a traditional religious service in a place of worship, or perhaps a more casual celebration of life at a favorite park or community center. Think about whether you want the casket or urn present, if there should be an open viewing, or if you prefer a direct burial or cremation with a memorial service held later. Specifying the mood—somber and respectful versus uplifting and celebratory—helps your family plan an event that feels true to you.

Resting Place and Container Options

Once you decide between burial and cremation, there are still decisions to make regarding the final resting place and the vessel. If you choose burial, consider the type of casket—wood, metal, or eco-friendly wicker.

For cremation, think about the style of urn you might like. Options range from traditional ceramic urns to modern designs made of wood, metal, or biodegradable materials. Another option is a columbarium; this is a structure, often a wall or room, with various niches for urns. There are a few different types of columbaria, from wall-mounted options to freestanding structures in gardens. These are the cremation equivalent of burial plots; they're set aside so members of the same family can rest together after their passings.

Music and Readings

Music and spoken words have a powerful impact on the atmosphere of a funeral. You might have a specific song that means the world to you, or a poem that sums up your philosophy on life. Listing these specific tracks, hymns, or scripture readings removes the guesswork for your grieving family and helps them honor your wishes more easily.

The Guest List and Participants

In your Funeral Planning Declaration, you can include a list of people you'd like to attend your funeral, and a list of people you'd rather not. You can also designate who you’d like to act as pallbearers, deliver the eulogy, or perform readings. Assigning these roles in advance can prevent family disputes and keep the people closest to you involved in the way you intend.

Your Funeral, Your Way

When pre-planning your funeral wishes, consider these aspects of the ceremony that may not have crossed your mind before. The more detail you include in your Funeral Planning Declaration, the more peace of mind you'll have knowing your final wishes will be respected, and the more comfort your family will have navigating the process without you.

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