Sometimes in a relationship, the two of you drift apart over time. It’s natural for many couples, and those who can’t come back together and reconnect may consider divorce. It’s common today, but not everyone knows how to go about it in the best way possible. They’re unsure of which questions to ask when planning for a divorce.
What Do You Want To Have Happen Between You and Your Partner?
It’s a vague question, but it’s one that you should at least think about for a little while before pursuing your divorce. In many instances, a couple who feels like divorce might be right for them seek some form of counseling. In these counseling sessions, their future becomes clearer—they either want to work on things together or pursue a divorce.
Regarding divorce, you must know whether you want things to be amicable or if you’re still unhappy with your partner and don’t want to see them at all. This action can sound extreme, but it’s right for some couples when their relationship has been fraught with abuse and manipulation. Take a step back, think about your relationship, and try to come to terms with what you want. It won’t be easy, but it can help you lay out a path for your future so you can live it in the way that best suits you.
How Does This Affect the Children?
In addition to planning for yourself, you must also account for your children if you have them. They can complicate a divorce, but at the end of the day, you want what’s best for them—the main question is how to make what’s best for them a reality. There’s a lot you must do for your child, such as:
Telling them
Figuring out custody and visitation
Not placing blame
Listening to them
Planning all of this out early with your partner can help your child. This transparency is essential, and if you don’t have answers right now, let them know things may be unclear for a while.
Do I Need an Attorney?
Depending on your situation, the answer can change. You likely won’t need an attorney if you and your partner are amicable and there are not too many other external factors. However, you may need an attorney if you have children or a complicated financial situation. Your partner likely won’t try to leave you with nothing, but a family attorney will ensure that doesn’t happen and that the divorce agreement between you two is equitable.
Getting a family attorney in these instances is important, but you can’t hire just any attorney. You need to look for some important qualities of a family attorney, such as their communication ability. Having an attorney that can handle the legal minutia while also being transparent can be vital in this trying time.
These are some of the most important questions to ask when planning for a divorce, and they’re all key to helping you get a fair divorce agreement and ensuring you don’t lose your hair in the process. Divorce can sometimes be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. Asking these questions and planning can help ensure things stay amicable between you and your partner.
A day to listen deeply, learn humbly, and honor the living wisdom of Native communities on Native Heritage Day on November 28th.
Opening Reflection
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