What is more nerve-racking than deciding that divorce is the appropriate option for you? Bringing up the topic of divorce with your spouse can be stressful and anxiety-inducing, to say the least. If this is something you need to do for your relationship, broaching the conversation can be difficult because you often won’t know how your partner will react or how to approach the subject at all. Don’t let yourself stay in an unhappy relationship because of your doubts. Consider using the tips in this article to help ease your anxiety and stress over this situation.

Don’t Say Anything Unless You’re Completely Sure

While you might be tossing around the idea of divorcing your partner in your head, it’s best not to drop the bomb on your spouse if you’re not 100 percent sure of your decision. It’s normal in many relationships to have occasional thoughts about divorce. Still, you should never approach the conversation unless you know, without a doubt, that divorce is right for you.

Don’t Bring Up the Topic During a Fight

Bringing up the topic of divorce with your spouse during a fight never creates the ideal situation for this conversation. You and your partner are likely burning off anger and adrenaline in a fight, and bringing up a touchy subject like divorce can only worsen the argument. This is no small conversation, and you need a level head to make the right decisions as you broach the topic. Plus, throwing around the possibility of divorce in every argument will result in your partner not believing you when you are truly serious about it.

Be Gentle, Yet Firm

When you broach this topic, you must be firm in your decision but not overly aggressive. It’s okay to be gentle because your partner’s feelings are involved, but you also need to be firm, or they might not take your statement seriously. Coming into the conversation with the right attitude will help set the foundation of a civil discussion without any blow-ups or anger.

Give Them Time To Process

This news will likely come as a shock to your spouse, and they deserve time to mull over this new information. Let them have time to process everything before coming to them again with the same conversation. If they’re refusing to cooperate with you, and your choice is set in stone, you can get a divorce without your spouse’s express agreement. However, try to communicate with your partner after a few days because you will need to devise a plan on how to move forward.

You probably did not come to the decision of divorce lightly. While this situation can be stressful and approaching your spouse about it is nerve-racking, it’s necessary for you to move forward in life. Divorce is not uncommon—you’re not alone in this journey. Remember to be 100 percent sure before broaching the topic, don’t bring up divorce during a fight, be gentle and firm, and give your partner time to process the news.